punch your own bread dough. it makes life better.

i'm going to start a segment in my blog called:

"I hate Texas and you can too."

catchy, i know.

the premise of this new segment is that I hate Texas. And you can too in 3 easy steps.

1. read my awesome blog. love it. live it. make it be your knife at a steak dinner. let it be your tent when you are camping. put it on the stove and cook with it. put it on your face so that other people will see you smile. that is step one.

1.01 jk

2. click on the links i provide. i don't do this for your health. i do this cause it makes me feel better about myself. look what i can do. i can hyperlink to another article. i just had facial reconstruction surgery and the only job i could find was filling up this awesome blog with hyperlinks. step 2 involves guilt and pity

3. read the headline, LOLz, then read the article. again, LOLz. then bring out that little pot of hate that you put your english assignments in, and laddle some of it out into laboratory approved containers because it is highly reactive with love. step 3 is time and labor intensive. middle aged men should not attempt while investing in the 'tank' market. get it? get it? i made a funny.


and there you have it. you now are on your way to hating texas. so now i have a few practice rounds for you.

THE FIRST ONE!!!!


THE SECOND ONE!!!!! i added more explanation points so that it would still be as potent as the first set of e-points, but i won't let you overdose.














(the only person from texas i don't hate is Claly Day)