you spin me right around

all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others



my batch of humble pie came in school this week.


i got suspended from my job at least until spring break. i also need to write 6 apology letters.


some things that i've learned through this. one, trust is more important than money. two, people who are held to high expectations are bound to fail more often. three, it's when that person falls that i begin to understand their character.

although i was held in high esteem, i did not see myself as any different than those around me and did not hold my actions any higher. i saw myself as someone who is no more talented, or responsible than those around me. so when shit hit the fan, it was hard for me to understand why i was getting so much shit. i didn't realize that there are different expectations for those who have grown in trust.

my position was grown out my attitude, hard work, and trust. well, trust has been shattered.

i don't know what this means for after college. i was kind of hoping to find some kind of work with OWN or something through them, but i think that this isn't going to happen anymore. i must now rely on other things that i have done to get me to move farther in this career.

i want to put this behind me and focus on future work, but i know that it isn't very realistic to hope for that. i must pay for my errors.

this is one of those time where it is really hard for me to believe that God has a plan for all of this, cause i can't really see much good coming from this except that i've learned that i'm an asshole.

there was another thing that had me going. let me explain.

so on friday, (when i got suspended)
we had to turn in a midterm project of a mic pre that we had built. he had this rubric of things like does it work? does it work correctly? etc.
anyway, the last one was - 'is clark an asshole? yes no' and he circled yes. that was before he knew about me getting suspended.

that combined with me getting suspended made me reflect on my attitude towards others. i can't honestly say that i'm not an asshole.

so all of this is to let you know that i've realized more about how people see me. so i want to apologize to you if i've met you. sorry.